I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.

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Hello, I don't care. Thanks.

I need to make better bad decisions.

I’m not grumpy. I’m just a realist...

I’m not late; I’m just in my own time zone.

I’m not weird. I’m limited-edition.

If you think I’m sarcastic, you should hear my thoughts.

If you can read this, you’re too close to me.

I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep.

I’m not lazy. I’m just very relaxed.

I’m not messy; I’m creatively organized.

I'm fine… Thanks for not asking.

Life happens. Coffee helps.

Life is short. Eat dessert first.

Me? Sarcastic? Never.

My brain has too many tabs open.

My dog thinks I’m the best human ever.

New year, same me.

My life is a game, and I’m currently stuck on the loading screen.

One of us right. The other one is you.

Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes

Professional overthinker

Sarcasm - A free service I provide

Sarcasm - Just one of my many talents...

Sarcasm - The body's natural defense against stupidity

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Some things are better left alone...Like me, for instance

Why fall in love when I can fall asleep

This is my pleasant customer service face